This is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I’m grateful my children are 15-23, and that phones weren’t what they are now when they were little.
My struggle is that 4/5 no longer live with me, so I cling to my phone in case they actually want to communicate. I don’t get to see them often. But I can still incorporate a lot of your ideas so that when I get my chance with them, I am fully present.
I appreciate all you’ve shared. Immensely helpful.
I've found meditation to be quite helpful for increasing my ability to be "present". Curious if you've found the same or if you have any recommendations?
absolutely. i’ve been meditating on and off with very poor discipline for almost 20 years now. started when i met a buddhist monk at 16 who helped me process the loss of a friend.
one of my spiritual guides told me a few years back that meditation is when you give your soul space to “catch up” and feel all the things it wasn’t allowed to do so because you were too busy to feel them.
then when it’s empty, the craving for being busy gets just a little bit less loud.
You're not alone! I finally had the time to read through your article. I'm a girl dad too, with my daughter almost reaching 3 years. I will become a boy dad in May, and I feel the urge to be present even more.
I'm happy to say that I've been a very good screenings dad so far, but recently I haven't stopped thinking on how to leverage ai to go further. You've been incredibly insightful, and I want to say that I'm on the same boat as you, and encouraging you to keep sharing.
I hope to find the time to set up my own Alfred sometime in the next month, and looking forward to your video tutorial.
I love the idea of focusing more on the kids instead of the screens; no child should have to compete with a gadget to fight for their parents' attention.
It's a sadly interesting phenomenon. I recently discovered that kids actually face a similar problem with overflowing toy collections—they can hide behind them and miss out on real-life confrontation, discussion, and adventure. Some kindergartens even implement 'toy-free' periods to help them reset.
Good read, thanks 👍🏼
glad you liked it!
Great article! I am also writing about being a present dad in my substack https://mindfuldads.substack.com :)
awesome, subscribed! present dads assemble!
Great read. Thanks David! Good luck on being a girldad, you’re ahead of the curve!
haha thank you!
This is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I’m grateful my children are 15-23, and that phones weren’t what they are now when they were little.
My struggle is that 4/5 no longer live with me, so I cling to my phone in case they actually want to communicate. I don’t get to see them often. But I can still incorporate a lot of your ideas so that when I get my chance with them, I am fully present.
I appreciate all you’ve shared. Immensely helpful.
wow thank you so much! I’m really glad it resonated! yeah i do have a sense of nostalgia to my own childhood when we weren’t plugged in all the time.
I've found meditation to be quite helpful for increasing my ability to be "present". Curious if you've found the same or if you have any recommendations?
absolutely. i’ve been meditating on and off with very poor discipline for almost 20 years now. started when i met a buddhist monk at 16 who helped me process the loss of a friend.
one of my spiritual guides told me a few years back that meditation is when you give your soul space to “catch up” and feel all the things it wasn’t allowed to do so because you were too busy to feel them.
then when it’s empty, the craving for being busy gets just a little bit less loud.
Love that phone quote – worried about missing notifications while missing actual life. The irony writes itself.
I cover this kind of thing on my Substack, helping dads level up instead of just getting by. Worth checking out if this resonates. https://joewooten.substack.com/p/thriving-as-a-father
i’m so excited about connecting over this topic with other dads. i just subscribed and saved your post for my morning reading.
You're not alone! I finally had the time to read through your article. I'm a girl dad too, with my daughter almost reaching 3 years. I will become a boy dad in May, and I feel the urge to be present even more.
I'm happy to say that I've been a very good screenings dad so far, but recently I haven't stopped thinking on how to leverage ai to go further. You've been incredibly insightful, and I want to say that I'm on the same boat as you, and encouraging you to keep sharing.
I hope to find the time to set up my own Alfred sometime in the next month, and looking forward to your video tutorial.
I love the idea of focusing more on the kids instead of the screens; no child should have to compete with a gadget to fight for their parents' attention.
It's a sadly interesting phenomenon. I recently discovered that kids actually face a similar problem with overflowing toy collections—they can hide behind them and miss out on real-life confrontation, discussion, and adventure. Some kindergartens even implement 'toy-free' periods to help them reset.
I was surprised to find this out, but it makes sense. Although, not all kids benefit equally, and I bet adults don't benefit equally from going screen-free either. I actually wrote more about this topic here: https://scientistmom1.substack.com/p/is-a-cluttered-playroom-the-toddler